Most of us are striving to move ahead and become a better version of ourselves. It could be any sphere of our life like relationships, career, finance, well-being, fitness etc.

Sometimes we notice that we tend to get stuck. Despite doing everything right we aren’t able to make the desired progress.

We start taking corrective steps and seeking help from experts from the outside. We find colleagues, friends and family members who give their views on what changes need to be made to get the desired result.

Now we start working on the advice rendered; most times, the advice is not our natural way of being. To implement and action the advice causes a lot of stress and frustration as it’s not something that comes naturally.

The truth is, that many of us have certain fixed patterns. These patterns are very strongly embedded within us; to bring a shift in this could seem almost impossible and extremely painful. We can’t imagine an alternative way of being.

Let’s take Dhritarashtra example from the Mahabharata. There are many instances in the epic, where he is aware of all the wrong and selfish decisions being carried out by his son. However, he wasn’t able to call him out.

He was blinded by his love for his son. Most of his actions and decisions were taken from this position.

For him to realize this and break this addiction would be close to impossible. So, he keeps on acting and making decisions that soothe his addiction to blind love. When decisions are taken from these positions they accelerate stress and anxiety.

In my journey, I’ve realized that many of us are similar and have some very strong attachments or some ways of being to which we are enslaved. It could be love for wealth, relationships you can’t imagine life without etc. Most of the time we are completely unaware of this pattern.

When it comes to making life-changing decisions we make many wrong decisions because we’re choosing the path not on reality but our perceived reality because we can’t make ourselves uncomfortable to see the truth.

To break the comfort zone requires Veeryam or courage.

The path or journey is to be with yourself and watch yourself closely. To be able to find this truth is a powerful journey. It’s difficult and very painful.

The power to connect to the Sakhi or the friend which resides within you.

Raghu Ananthanarayan whom I consider a mentor taught me how to connect with the Sakhi in me and become a seeker. His way of seeking an answer is to ask yourself a very powerful question.

In doing what I’m doing what am I really doing?

To stay with this question and seek the answer.

It could be a very uncomfortable and painful place.

As said by Rumi the only way out of the pain is through the pain.

We make decisions based on our fixed patterns and this causes a lot of stress and discomfort.

To find peace we engage with distractions like friends, movies, alcohol, travel etc. We still don’t find it.

The truth is, it’s not our job, money, or family that causes stress. It’s the pattern or addiction that we are enslaved to.

The only way out is to first become a seeker, look till you find it. Then work to let go. The deaddiction process is very painful. As we’ve seen what happens when people are sent to rehab centres. They would feel intense pain to overcome their addiction.

Finally, when you are out of the center you see the reality and not the perceived reality.

Let’s remove our dark glasses and see things just the way it is.

The only way out is IN