Most of us are striving to move ahead and become a better version of ourselves. It could be any sphere of our life – relationships, career, finance, well-being, fitness, and so on.

However, we sometimes tend to get stuck. Despite doing everything right, we’re still not able to make the desired progress.

We start taking a lot of corrective steps and seek help from experts from the outside. We find colleagues, friends, and family members who give their views on the changes that need to be made to get the desired result.

Then we start working on the advice rendered. However, many a time, the advice is not our natural way of being. Implementing the advice causes a lot of stress and frustration as it’s not something that comes naturally to us.

Why Can’t We Do What We Should Do?

The truth is that most of us have certain fixed patterns. These patterns are very strongly embedded within us. Therefore, to bring a shift in this could seem almost impossible and extremely painful. We can’t imagine an alternative way of being.

Let’s take an example of Dhritarashtra from the Mahabharata. There are many instances in the epic where despite being absolutely aware of all the wrong and selfish decisions being carried out by his son, he wasn’t able to call him out. He was blinded by the love for his son. Naturally, most of his actions and decisions were taken from this position.

For him to realize this and break this addiction was close to impossible. So, he kept on taking decisions that soothe his addiction of blind love. The truth is that when decisions are taken from these positions, they accelerate stress and anxiety.

In my personal journey, I’ve realized that many of us are similar to Dhritarashtra in this regard. We have some very strong attachments or ways of being which we are enslaved to. It could be love for wealth, relationships that you can’t imagine living without, and so on. However, most of the time, we are completely unaware of this pattern.

How To See The Truth?

When it comes to making life-changing decisions we make many wrong decisions because we’re choosing the path not based on reality but, instead, based on our perception of reality. This is because we want to avoid the discomfort of seeing the truth.

To break the comfort zone requires Veeryam or courage.

This journey involves being with ourselves and watching ourselves closely and connecting with the Sakhi or the friend which resides within us. Raghu Ananthanarayan, whom I consider a mentor, taught me how to connect with the Sakhi within me and become a seeker. His way of seeking an answer is to ask ourselves a very powerful question:

“In doing what I’m doing what am I really doing?”

In order to embrace the truth, we must stay with this question and seek the answer.

Why Does Truth Hurt?

To be able to find the truth can be extremely difficult and painful, but it is surely a powerful journey.

We take decisions based on our fixed patterns and this causes a lot of stress and discomfort. To find peace we engage with distractions like friends, movies, alcohol, travel, etc. However, we still don’t find it.

The truth is that it’s not our job, money, or family that causes stress; it’s the pattern or addiction that we are enslaved to.

The only way out is to first become a seeker and keep looking till you find it.

Then, work to let go. The de-addiction process is very painful, just like what happens when people are sent to rehabilitation centers. They feel intense pain while overcoming their addiction. As said by Rumi, “The only way out of the pain is through the pain”.

Finally, when you are out of the center you see the reality and not the perceived reality.

Let’s remove our dark glasses and see things just the way they are!

Remember: The only way out is in.